Embarassing Family, Embarassed Me!!!
One word. Embarrassing. That word would automatically sum up my family. You love them and all, but there are days when you just want to thrust your mortified face into a delicate pillow and scream at the top of your lungs. One of those days seems to come up a lot in my amusing family, I just wasn’t expecting it to crawl into my life on the day that my eighteen year old step brother decided to take me to the mall.
That one sun shiny San Francisco day me and several of my closest friends decided that we should go spend an evening at the mall. My parents did not think that hastily walking to the mall was a pleasant idea, it was shot for them. Luckily for me the only person seemed the least bit interested was my step brother. I talked and talked to him until his interest actually meant moving his stubby legs and taking me there. He finally agreed and me and the five of my friends were off to what I know now is my most horrific seconds that I was ever going to spend in a mall.
When we got to the Westfield mall of San Francisco, nothing seemed out of the ordinary. The birds, people, and homeless were all there, but something was missing. Maybe my confidence? Now looking back at this I think my confidence was there. Maybe a little to much confidence. It all happened in Pac Sun. I was in the dressing room jamming to my I pod while trying on a pair of light blue skinny jeans. Over the sounds of music rapidly playing I could hear my brother yell “HURRY UP!” and pound slightly on the door. I assured him that I would be out of the box like room that was almost causing me to become claustrophobic in several minutes. I than went back to listening to my jams. Again I heard a knock, but this time I ironsides it. Just then the door I thought had been locked flung right open and in my presence stood a clerk and a guy about fifteen or sixteen years of age. Unfortunately for me I had my pants down, my earphones in, and was standing right towards them. The clerk quickly apologized and shut the door gracefully. I than pulled out my earphones COMPLETELY mortified of what had just happened. I quickly picked up my stuff and sprinted out of the dressing room, not bothering to buy anything.
On the way out of the store I was telling everyone what had happened and I was surrounded my laughs, but my day was not yet over. Right as I walked out the doors, an angry alarm blazed, and I realized I was still wearing their tee shirt. The manager had to come out and practically give me a lecture about how stealing is bad. I had tried to tell him what had happened, but he did not buy it. Not only that but my brother was laughing the whole time and when we saw my parents he told them about how I “stole” the shirt. The worst of it is that whenever I go to that mall all I can remember is the alarm, manager, and face of the people who walked in on me. I would have to say this was my most embarrassing moment EVER!!!!!

Mr. Reed said,
September 18, 2008 @ 10:30 pm
I love this line in your intro: you just want to thrust your mortified face into a delicate pillow and scream at the top of your lungs. Ha. What a nice way to show not tell that feeling of embarrassment!! You also use “mortified” later.
I also liked the setting of the mall …
The birds, people, and homeless were all there, but something was missing. Maybe my confidence?
Nice use of the magic three.
Wonderfully told memoir! The “angry alarm” and the so-called stealing of the t-shirt make a great ending!!
Suggestions:
spelling: to or too? in “a little to much confidence.” Also, you need to edit for punctuation. You’re missing a few commas in a few sentences.
You might try to incorporate actual dialogue with your brother laughing at the end.
shannon said,
October 8, 2008 @ 8:57 pm
this is so funny im laughing as i read it, i could totally see you doing that.
i love the way you write it and use details like”rapidly playing.”
I love your opening sentance its really good.this is a really good story.
~shannon